Picture day

When the kids came home from school yesterday, I made sure we figured out what they would wear today for pictures. As it turned out, M had nothing to wear. The one thing that was the most appropriate she didn't want to wear. Everything else she has out grown. So she and I made a quick trip to Target to find something for her to wear. Easier said than done. The 80s are certainly making a come back and every single freakin' dress we could find had that scratchy netting around the skirt. She would die if she had to wear pants, of course, and she learned from taking ballet that the netting stuff is scratchy = she won't wear it. There were some slim pickings when it came to finding something for her to wear. We finally settled on a pleated black school girl-type skirt and a turquoise top. She also wore some black leggings under the skirt since both the school and I have a rule about wearing something under her skirts. One kid done, check.

O chose a striped top that I like on him and I figured he would just wear some khaki shorts with it. Second kid done, check.

O came down the stairs this morning in sweat pants and his Denver Broncos shirt. I had his laundry on the couch so I directed him to the shirt he had chosen. He whined. "I want to wear my Broncos shirt." "Try again," I said. It was an unexpected fight. "It is going to be 88 degrees today, O. Why do you need to wear sweat pants?" "Because I am not from Wyoming like you are. I am not used to the cold. I need to wear sweat pants!" "It is NOT cold, son! What are you talking about?! COLD?! I'll ship you off to Cheyenne or Rochester right now and you can see what cold is!" Finally, we both compromised. He changed his shirt and wore the sweat pants.

Things calmed down while breakfast was eaten and lunches were made. I had long since given up on getting them to the bus and knew I would be taking them to school. After breakfast, the hair styling began. He wanted his hair spikey which never stays that way. She chose pony tails. I dug out the hair wax and hair spray. His hair took more time than hers. We walked out the door 5 minutes before the tardy bell is scheduled to ring.

O had to put his jacket on too. Seriously? Am I raising a whuss? It was 65 degress when we walked out the door. The drama!

But, they looked cute. We'll see how the photos turn out.

First Diss by O and the long, slightly related story

On Wednesdays, O is set up to take a kid transportation service from school to the childcare place we use since I'm in class when he gets out of school.  I drop M off at childcare on my way to school, O joins her after he gets out of school and C picks them up when he gets off work.  Understandably there are several people who need to know that O needs to do this since it is not a regular/daily thing:  I remind O before he gets on the bus in the morning, I remind the bus driver that he won't/shouldn't be on the bus after school, I put a note in his folder to remind his teacher, I tell the childcare people when I drop M off to expect him after school and I pay the transportation people for their service.  You'd think that would cover it, right?

Yesterday I forgot to put the note in O's folder.  I decided that I would surprise him by joining him for lunch (M and I do that a few times a month) and, while at school, pass the note along to his teacher.  Problem solved.  We arrived a few minutes late so his class was already seated at their assigned table.  I ran into his teacher in the cafeteria though so I gave her the note and said that this would be the norm for the next 3 months or so.  She appreciated the notification and said she would make a note for herself just in case I forgot to send a note.  Perfect.  I can depend on her even if I mess up.

M and I head over to O at the table and he is enjoying lunch with his friends.  The kids each have assigned seats so if parents and siblings come for lunch then we go out of the cafeteria to eat in the common area where they have tables provided.  O was very excited to see us but made no move to collect his lunch to move to the common area.  I asked if he wanted to come eat with us.  He said, "but Robbie is going to tell us a funny story!  Can you sit here with me?"  I told him that there was no room for us and we'd have to go out into the common area.  He suggested that we could just stand there while he ate with his friends.  I told him that he didn't have to eat lunch with us if he preferred to eat with his friends and he said ok.  So, M and I left.  At first I was ok with it because I had achieved my goal of getting the note to his teacher.  Plus since I hadn't taken the time to pack a lunch, I was not really looking forward to a school cafeteria lunch!  Then, as I was driving away, I found myself getting a little weepy.  I realized that he just chose his friends over me.  It makes me infinitely happy that he has good friends.  I also knew that this day was coming.  But I was still a little sad that it had finally come to pass.

I went on with my day without thinking much more about it.  I got to school and had only a fleeting thought during the class break to check for messages.  However, I got distracted as I chatted with fellow students about a group project that was just assigned so I didn't check messages as I had planned.  Once class was back in session I remembered to check my phone and saw that I had had 5 missed calls.  I walk out of class to check my messages finding 3 of them:  one from the school district transportation service stating that O had mistakenly gotten on the bus and was at the bus stop, please call them; another from a great neighbor who's son also rides the bus, she was trying to help correct the situation; and the third message was a reminder call for my dr. appointment this morning!  I rarely get phone calls and they all seem to happen at the same time!

This had all taken place roughly 45 minutes before.  First, I'm concerned wondering where my son is.  Then I'm pissed because, for crying out loud, what do I have to do to get him where he needs to be when I can't be there??!!  Finally, I'm wondering, who am I supposed to call?  The school district transportation people?  The school?  The neighbor?  The childcare place?  The kid transportation service?  S*#T!!!  AND I'm missing class to deal with this!!!  Grrrrrrrrrrr...

So, I call the neighbor.  Not sure why.  She was the one furthest removed from the situation so I couldn't blow up at her.  I guess that is why I called her first.  Amazingly, she knew what was going on!  The bus driver had taken O back to school and the kid transportation van met her there to pick him up and take him to childcare.  I thanked her profusely and she assured me she had had a similar experience with her son this year.  I calmed down then and called the childcare place to confirm that he was actually there.  He was present and accounted for so I headed back to class.

The exact same thing happened once last spring with the same results.  I guess if it happens again I know it will get taken care of.  What a pain in the butt.  Seriously, I have enough stress without these experiences!

Adventures in airline travel

It feels like I have several topics to catch up on from the past 2 weeks so I'm trying to break them down into manageable short stories instead of one big novel!  So, with that in mind, here are our stories from our flights to and from Rochester.

As I may have mentioned before in previous posts, we traveled from Houston to Rochester, NY ON Christmas day.  The airports weren't jam-packed with people but they weren't exactly quiet either.  Thanks to Delta and their itinerary change, we had to bounce twice to get there instead of the usual once.  We bounced through Atlanta then Cincinnati before hitting Rochester 2 hours later than what we had originally planned.  We knew about this change well ahead of time but we were still very annoyed by it.  We had some compensation though when we flew from Houston to Atlanta with no incident, took off from Atlanta with no problems and were treated to an incredible view of a Christmas sunset that lasted for a really long time.  It went from brilliant yellow to bright orange to blood red over about 30-45 minutes time.  I just now am asking myself why one of us didn't grab the camera and try to get a photo of it.  We were just too tired I guess.  

Our landing in Cincinnati was a bit out of the ordinary for us.  The female pilot brought us in rather quickly with many turns and steep drops.  Even the flight attendant who was hanging out just behind me made the comment, "wow, this is some crazy flying tonight!"  Our only disappointments for the day were that Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream was closed in Atlanta and many of the food court restaurants were closed or nearly out of food when we had our short layover in Cinci.  Besides that, we landed on time, received our luggage without having to wait forever and headed out into the snow!

Our return to Houston was much more exciting.  First, we started the day out by taking off nearly an hour late from Rochester.  It seems they had to fill the plane with extra fuel and in doing so caused the plane to be overweight.  They needed 10--that's TEN--people to give up their seats so that they would be within the weight restrictions of the FAA.  I had never come up against that one before!  Ten people over weight??  Seriously??  That must be 1500-2000 pounds!  I guess between the number of kids (obviously not weighing what an adult weighs) and 7-8 passengers who gave up their seats we were back in compliance and we took off for Atlanta after getting de-iced.

Atlanta was incredibly foggy.  Thank goodness for flying by instruments because that was the only way we were landing there.  Visibility was poor and the runway had just barely popped into view about 2-3 seconds before we landed!  It was still foggy when we took off but it didn't seem to slow us down any.  Between Atlanta and Houston we hit some bad turbulence.  Fortunately C and the kids were all fast asleep and they didn't even stir.  I was fine as it was more of a rough dirt road kind of a bounce instead of those quick falls and climbs that get your guts all churned up.  The flight attendants had to sit in their jump seats for about 20-30 minutes but then things seemed to calm down.  As we were landing, however, we were getting hit by some pretty strong cross winds and the pilot was having one heck of a time keeping the plane level.  I was thinking to myself "I will be so impressed if he lands this thing."  Just as the image came to mind of that famous 1989 plane crash footage from Iowa where the landing plane goes cartwheeling down the runway in a ball of flames (I couldn't find footage on the internet but I've seen it numerous times on t.v. programs)...  Now where was I?  

Oh, yes, as that image came to mind roughly 150 feet above the runway at Hobby Airport, the pilot revved up the engines, brought up the landing gear and we took off again without touching down.  I looked back at C and said, "I guess we got waved off!"  It took a good 5 minutes before the Captain came on and said that we were doing a come around or something like that.  The winds were hitting us at 20 knots and they weren't comfortable landing so, in the interest of safety blah, blah, blah...  I was perfectly happy with with their decision.  So, as we did our 15 minute tour of the city we did a little rockin' and rollin'.  Again, it wasn't consistent or extreme enough to get my guts churning so I didn't think much about it.  M started crying complaining that she really wanted to get off the plane.  I was trying to calm her down and encouraged her to look out the window to see that we were indeed coming in for another attempt at landing.  About 200 feet above the runway, she threw up.  I couldn't get a barf bag fast enough.  She was a mess, the seat was a mess, I was gagging.  It wasn't pretty.

But, we managed to get cleaned up, get home and, needless to say, momma was DONE.  The kids went off to AB's to play while C and I showered and got some food.  Then we both just crashed on the couch.  

We are always so happy to see our far away family and friends but it is so very nice to come back home.  And that is my story about our travels.  

Mother Nature is MEAN

So yesterday (Tuesday 12/9) was steamy.  It was one of those overcast days that always confuse me.  Up north, when the sky gets overcast the temp usually drops.  Not so here in Houston so I get confused.  I think it will be cool outside even though the temperature says otherwise.  Such was the case yesterday.

It was overcast and breezy with a high of around 80 degrees.  It was 70 degrees at 6 am Tuesday morning when I stepped out to walk Brody.  I was wearing a t-shirt and sweat pants.  Both of us were sweating by the time we returned home.  It was steamy like when you go into the bathroom about 20 minutes after someone has showered.  By the time I was headed to school (around 4:30 pm) my car says it was 82 when I left my house.  When I arrived at school (35 miles north and west) my car says it was 66.  It was incredibly windy--like, knock you over if you aren't careful windy.  By the time I got out of class at 10 pm it was 50 degrees.  

This morning at 6 am it was 34, rainy and very windy.  In my just-woke-up-daze I thought, how does that happen?  How can it be 70 degrees one morning and 34 the next??  Needless to say I went right back to bed.  The dog was ok with that once I let him out into the back yard to potty.  He didn't want to be outside either!  We curled up together for another hour of snoozing.

Mother Nature is just plain mean.

Fair Warning

Everyone should just steer clear of me this week.  

I am not a happy camper.  

I am PMSing like crazy plus I had to say goodbye to yet ANOTHER good friend who is moving away from Houston.  I mean, so many of my really close friends have moved from the area in the past few years.  These friends are like family to me, my support system.  How dare they leave me!!  Here is how I'm dealing with it all:  gorging on Halloween candy at all times of the day and night, sipping rum and coke at all times of the day and night just to cope (just so you know, NOT the best coping strategy), screaming and yelling at my kids, crying at stupid stuff...  It isn't pretty.  So, run and save yourself.  Don't make eye contact.  Sometimes I think it would be nice to be able to request a chemically induced coma when other's lives are in danger when coming into contact with me.  However, with all of my luck this week I'd probably die which would really piss me off.

See?  I just can't be happy this week.  Not a positive bone in my body.  Sorry if you happen to get caught in the deluge.   

Weekly Recap

Whew!  Another whirl-wind week.  However, I was forced to slow down and have a fight with a bug.  It seems everyone around me has been sick yet I had been very lucky to not catch anything.  Mostly people have had the cough/congestion thing but I had a couple of clients this week with a stomach virus.  As you can see, just a little bit of everything.  My bug seems to have manifested itself into chills, body aches and general exhaustion.  It is frustrating because I have no outward signs that anything is wrong---no runny nose, no coughing, no stomach upset, no fever etc.  However, when I sit quietly on the couch or in bed, I'm pretty good.  Some low back ache but otherwise not too bad.  When I get up my whole body screams including joint and muscle ache--but not the same ache you have after a long workout.  I get up and accomplish some task for about 1 1/2 to 2 hours and I am spent.  I have to sleep.  It is annoying.  

I try to make sure I walk the dog every morning so he spends some energy.  The past 3 mornings have been much shorter walks.  Today I pushed it a bit longer and by the time I got home I was a mess.  I had to crawl back into bed and ask C to take over.  He, of course, was happy to help out and got O up and out the door on time, got M up and going, fed the animals, played administrative assistant and took a few phone calls for me and got the kitchen cleaned up before he headed off to work.  Thank you, honey!  One phone call was a cancellation of an 11 am client.  While I was looking forward to the income, the chance to stay in bed longer was even better.  I slept until 10:45 am.  I now seem to have a bit more energy but am going to lay low today.  I have a client scheduled for 4 and I need to pick up some milk at the store but other than that, I'm sitting my butt on the couch for the day.

I've missed two days of classes including a quiz I'll need to make up.  I'll deal with that next week and get notes from someone.  I just need to get past this by tomorrow.  Saturday is a big 50th Anniversary celebration NASA event.  I have looked forward to it for months.  Originally it would have taken place in late September.  However, with the hurricane and all it was postponed to this weekend.  It is a dress-up, adults only event which is so fun for me to do every once in awhile!  I bought a new dress, shoes and the required undergarments, I've set up my client schedule so I can work, take a nap and then get myself ready to enjoy the evening.  The kids are set up at GAB.....Everything is done.  I just have to feel better!  There is food, drink and dancing.  There are people to see and fun to be had!  I cannot crash 2 hours into the evening!  While I've taken homeopathic meds for my bug (mostly the first day), I've saved the ibuprofen to help me get through Saturday.  I so want to be able to enjoy it!

Obviously that has been my focus for the past week but there are other things that happened too!  I passed all of my midterms getting strong Bs in all three classes.  We had a fun family event last Friday at O's school.  The PTA hosted a movie night in association with the new PTA movie store.  They have family friendly movies and are trying to promote it for the holidays I'm sure.  So, they offered a free public showing of Kungfu Panda.  It was a very cute movie and a great time.  We filled up the school cafeteria with blankets, pillows and snacks and had a great couple of hours enjoying the movie.  

Since we have plans for this weekend and I've been busier at work lately, I had a full day at work last Saturday.  All went well and I wasn't as tired as I thought I'd be.  Sunday we met with a pet sitter who will take care of the pets for us over Christmas.  Then, just after he left, the dog started vomiting.  He suddenly could keep nothing down and by 4:45 Monday morning was vomiting on our bed and there was blood in it.  We were very worried and got him in to see the Vet on Monday morning.  They did a few tests and found he had not ingested anything toxic.  So, we are treating him for gastritis.  We came home with anti-nausea meds as well as antibiotics because his white blood cell count was slightly elevated.  He seems to be just fine now and never really lost his high energy so all is well there.  We are watching him just in case he relapses which might indicate a blockage in his GI tract.  That would involve x-rays etc.  So far so good.  

M enjoyed her weekly dance class on Tuesday and then the two of us headed out to shop.  I needed shoes and undergarments to go with my dress for this weekend.  I hate shopping and prefer to do it during quiet times so I figured Tuesday mid-day was the perfect time.  Ha!  The joke was on me.  We went to Macy's and hit the shoe department first.  It was chaos and I just figured that there was some sale going on plus, it was still the lunch hour so it should calm down.  It took a long time to get waited on but I had already dedicated this day for shopping and didn't want to leave.  I finally got what I needed, looked at the very long line for checkout and decided I'd take my shoes with me to Foundations and look for a bra.  That department is upstairs and I had already picked up my hose and bra before I realized how long that line was for checkout too.  What is going on?  I ask myself.  It is just a random Tuesday.  It is not a holiday week, is it?  What am I missing?  Well, Macy's is having a big one day sale.  Dammit!  I've already invested too much time and energy to leave my selections behind now.  Plus, I must have been working on fighting that bug because my head was fuzzy and I was tired.  I figured, I'm already here and I don't want to have to get back out and do this again this week.  My judgement was cloudy.  So, I decide to take advantage of the sale and find some jeans.  It took a bit of searching but I found a pair.  Then I took my place in line.  M was starting to melt down but was holding it together pretty well.  Then a sales associate came by to direct the line to a few other cashiers so we could get out of there faster.  I went over to the children's department happy that I had taken advantage of the price check computers to make sure all of my selections would ring up with the correct sale price.  To make a long story short (too late!) the cashier told me that she couldn't ring up the shoes because they work on commission in that department and she needed to give credit to one of the sales people there.  I about came over the counter at her.  I should have just given up at this point but, dammit, I had spent too much time and energy here and I could see the light at the end of the tunnel!  I was going home with those shoes no matter what! 

So, I grab M who is in tears by now and haul everything back downstairs to the shoe department.  The long line was gone and I was able to finally purchase all of my items.  We practically ran out of the mall.  I really, really hate shopping like that.  But I am very glad I stuck it out and got it done while I had the chance.

Yesterday we had a quick conference with O's teacher.  We are so proud of him.  We all agree on his strong points and weak points.  He is doing very well and is at or above where he needs to be at this point in his education.  I really like his teacher and I really like the things they are doing in his classroom.  Today is his last day before Thanksgiving break--they have the entire week off next week.  We have things to work on with reading and math to keep him thinking.  He is having a little bit of trouble with odd and even numbers but he loves to write.  He has written notes to his teacher and his Kindergarten teacher from last year just this past week.  He is very sweet and loves to express his fondness for them.  He and his sister write notes to one another too.  It is very fun to watch them.

Anyway, this post is long enough and I need another nap to help me get through the afternoon.  M is watching Star Wars for the second time today so I should have some quiet time available.  I'll try to get pictures over the weekend from the NASA Gala.  Next week, O is on vacation, I'll need to catch up on school stuff, there is Thanksgiving and decorating for Christmas.  We plan to spend the Friday after Thanksgiving at the Texas Renaissance Festival which has become our tradition.  So, lots going on and lots to look forward to.

Hope you all have a great weekend.

Will the media ruin Christmas?

I just saw this article on CNN.   At first I found it quite entertaining.  Then I started thinking that this kind of media attention 6 weeks before Christmas could develop into a huge thing that will just ruin Christmas all around for everyone.

Christmas means different things to different people.  I find that most people celebrate what they deem the important points for them and their family and leave the rest.  I mean, everyone is really too busy with their own lives to get into this supposed Christmas war.  Why does the media have to turn it into a huge thing?  

So, this year I encourage you to ignore the stories about certain groups boycotting retail stores for having too generic holiday greetings.  Disregard any sort of media blitz about what is expected of you during the holidays.  Enjoy the holiday time for what is important to you and your family.  Make your own memories and celebrate in your own way.  Don't let the media provoke you and distract you to become a part of their so called Christmas war.

Celebrate!

Some days there are no words

Some days are such a mish-mash of events that there are not words to sum up the day.  O started the day getting all ready for school and just mentioned as he brushed his teeth that his belly hurt.  Then, as we walked out of the front door to catch the bus he mentions that his throat was "really, really sore."  After a brief conversation about whether or not he needed to stay home from school, we decided he would, in fact, stay home.

He was a bit put off by the rules:  if you are sick, you stay in bed and read.  No t.v.  No video games.  No running, jumping, playing.  Just relaxing in bed.  I may have to sit on him soon to keep him from running around with the dog.  Guess he feels better, huh?!  

The weather was dreadfully dreary, dark and rainy but I was in pretty good spirits all day and still am.  I kicked butt all weekend and had finished all of the laundry, worked, cleaned the kitchen, sorted through piles of paperwork that needed to be thinned out plus DD came over today for our massage trade.  Oh, and I snuck a couple.....ok a FEW pieces of Halloween candy.

Of course hearing about Mac the elephant (previous post--click on the title to go to the Zoo's announcement) was very sad.  But, all-in-all, the day was really good.

Now the dog is licking the bottom of my shoes, the cat is attacking the dog (hissing, whacking at his nose) because he is a bit too close to the cat, the other cat is yeowling in the other room because she has decided it is time for dinner.  The kids are drawing beautiful pictures for me.  M is only in her underwear because she has become a streaker as of late.  I'm lucky she is wearing underwear right now.  O's hair is sticking up just enough to be super cute.  I'll take a photo and post it to the beginning of this post.

Yeah, a good day of nothing much is really nice for a change.  And on a MONDAY no less.  Wish you all were here to enjoy it with me.  

I guess I'll now need find time to study for my Acu II midterm that is tomorrow.  Wish me luck!

Houston Zoo bids farewell to Baby Mac the elephant

It is FREAKIN' COLD here

Ok, not by northern standards but by Houston standards it is way too cold too soon in the season.  Usually on Halloween night we are still in a sauna.  But not this year.  There is a theory I heard that Hurricane Ike sucked all of the heat out of the gulf and threw us into an early fall.  Early for Houston anyway.  The grass has pretty much gone dormant.  We haven't cut ours for 2 1/2 weeks and it isn't much longer than it was last time it was cut.

According to the Weather Underground, our stats for yesterday had our high at 67 and our low at 40.  Our normal high for this time of year is 78 and our normal low is 55.  Quite a difference.  Oh, and when it was 45 out this morning while O and I waited for the bus, it was also 80% humidity.  Let me tell you, it is 47 right now in my home town of Cheyenne, Wyoming but the humidity is only 36%.  Now tell me which place feels colder!  To me, the humidity makes it feel so much colder.  Now we might be more comparable to Webster, NY where my hubby grew up.  Right now they are looking at 36 with 63% humidity.  Good lord!  I had to turn the heat on yesterday.  And it is only October!  In Houston!  The HEATER!  I'll bet we get snow this winter.  It would certainly be nice to actually see snow here to make the cold worth while.  However, these southerners have no idea how to drive in ice and snow so I am staying home when/if that happens!

Yes, folks, I am officially a wimp.  Let the teasing begin.

Thanks CB

Special thanks to my friend CB who reminded me of the name of the type of depression I believe I have:  Dysthymia  or maybe even Cyclothymia although I have never been officially diagnosed.

I am grateful to CB and all of my other family and friends who are always there to support me.  You are all the best and I sincerely appreciate you all!

Depression

WARNING!!  I am only venting in this post and probably will not be good at following a train of thought.  Read at your own risk. 

I am in the throes of a really strong depressive episode.  I've dealt with depression my whole life (not realizing it until I looked back in time) but it seems to get worse the older I get.  That may just be my perception though and not reality.  Perhaps I am just more aware simply because I have more than myself to deal with at this point in my life.  I have a husband and kids to interact with and care for.  When I was younger and single with only myself to worry about I could hole up for a day or two on the couch and get through it.  These days, if I camp out on the couch, I have multiple interruptions in my R&R:  I have two children who need feed, clothed and cleaned; I have a husband who would like to have more of a conversation than me grunting a few angry words in his direction; I have a dog who has to go outside to pee on a regular basis; I get hungry; I have to go to the bathroom; the phone rings; there is nothing on tv to distract my mind......it all really pisses me off.

I get some comfort being by myself.  I also get some comfort when the cats come and lay on top of me--Jetta on my head usually and Rusty on my chest.  Cats have an energy about them that is so calming.  Its like they know you are having a crisis and they just want to lay there with you and support you.  I don't have to pet them or really even interact with them.  They just are there with me.  

The people in my life are not as easy to deal with.  The kids are loud.  The kids are full of energy.  They have grown used to entertaining themselves because they know I won't play with them.  If they are running around yelling, laughing, bouncing off the walls, it grates on my last nerve.  I can't stand the noise.  I can't stand the activity around me.  I have to ask them to leave the room.  They aren't being bad, I just cannot deal with them in that moment.  I can see the concern and questions in my husbands eyes.  I just don't have the energy to talk to him.  Typing on the computer takes much less effort for me than talking.  Plus, I can edit what I type and not what I say.  Unfortunately, hugs and caresses from my people aren't as soothing during these episodes as the physical touch from my cats.  People have different energies, emotions and needs that come across in their touches.  I usually find it irritating.  Or, I usually only want it on my terms.  If my husband wants to give me a hug, I have to determine the length of the hug I can handle.  If I try to pull away and he holds me longer, a bolt of resentment rushes through me and ruins the entire moment.  If the kids want to cuddle, I enjoy it for just a short time until their fidgeting irritates me more than it should.  It is easier to just stay away from all of them which makes me very sad.  At a time when I need them the most, I spend my energy pushing them away.

I've spent hours and hours upon hours trying to figure out what sets me off.  There seems to be a bit of a cyclical pattern that I haven't bothered to track.  If I eat too many carbs and not enough protein it seems to get worse.  If I take my Advocare Products on a regular basis, I don't notice a huge difference.  However, if I STOP taking them like I did this past week during our hurrication, I can feel the difference.  I think that missing my Fem 40+ right before and during my PMS phase was not a good thing.  I wasn't sure if it was making a difference but, without it, I'm a mess emotionally, mentally and physically.  My energy level is low and my mental clarity is poor without my MNS Max Energy .  I swear I am NOT doing a sales pitch here.  Just a personal observation on the products that seem to have helped me cope over the past several months.  I know it is more than just the products.  There are things that I can control:  my time, my diet, my exercise...all of those choices I make in those realms.  The parts I cannot control, hormone levels and other glandular dysfunctions, seem to respond to the Advocare Products that I take along with Chinese Herbs and Acupuncture.  Then when stressful situations arrive in my life, I can better deal with them if I'm feeling good.

It seems like I spend too much time and way too much money trying to find products that help me cope with life.  When I find the right balance and I'm feeling great for awhile then something comes along to throw it all off then it takes me months to get back on track.  That is why I am always amazed at people who achieve so much in life.  Do they not deal with these issues?  Are they just strong enough to get past it?  What is wrong with me?  

Any time western medicine has stepped in, I've been less than satisfied with the results.  I took the antidepressant Effexor for a few months about 7 years ago and I hated the way I felt when I took it.  Plus I had incredibly difficult side effects coming off of it.  I know that there are other antidepressants on the market but that one and only experience made me swear off them all.  That is why I prefer alternative treatments like herbs, vitamins, acupuncture...  Any blood tests I've had from western medical doctors have shown all of my levels "within normal range".  How do you treat someone when western medicine doesn't recognize that there is a problem?

I found a good explanation once describing what researchers found to be a chronic, low-grade depression.  I don't have the desire or the energy to look up that info right now to share with you but it helped me feel that at least I'm not the only one who deals with this.

So, this specific episode seems to have all of these combinations:  stress/adrenaline rush, poor eating habits, lack of activity, all from the hurrication; plus, PMS, a cold causing runny nose and general body ache symptoms just enough to piss me off.  Since I arrived home I have lots to do to get things back to normal around the house and in my life but I just cannot find any motivation to do those things.  I'm still in evacuation mode and I'm still good living out of boxes and bags.  I have, however, gotten the kids clothes, my clothes and the dog's stuff put away.  The kitchen has been clean then messed up and is now somewhere in-between.  I have a box of food that needs to be put away.  However, that would mean organizing the pantry in order to make it all fit.  The trash needs to be collected and taken out.  The floor needs attention from all the leaves and debris that blew in under the doors.  I'm sure there is more but just those few things on my to do list makes my brain just shut down.  It is too overwhelming to deal with.  

Thank goodness that the clinic didn't have power this morning.  I had to cancel the two appointments that I had on the books.  I don't think I could have done a massage if there had been power.  I just feel run down and overwhelmed.  

But, I am feeling better for having vented.  Thank you for listening.