Full belly. Glass of cab. Lovely evening outside with the family. What more could one need?!

Interesting... Green in = green out.

Mom and sis are here! Dinner at Zio's. Yum!

Excited that mom and sis are coming for the weekend!

Funny M

M has had several funnies the past few days that I wanted to share.

Yesterday I was getting her ready for dance class.  We had her required attire already on her and I was doing her hair. 

 

She said, "Mommy, I want my hair in a pony tail."

  

I said, "We have to put it in a bun because that is what ballerinas are required to do with their hair.  After class we can take out the bun and then you can wear it in a pony tail."

This, of course, is a  synopsis of the conversation that included a lot of back and forth and M slowly building up to a melt down.  

Finally I say, "We put your hair in a bun every dance class.  Why are you freaking out about it today?"

I swear, in all honesty, as the tears started flowing, this is what she said: 

 "Because I don't want anyone to call me a hotdog."

I looked at her confused, like she had bubbles coming out of her ears or something, trying desperately to understand why anyone would call her a hotdog at ballet class.

As she cried on with the tears flowing and mumbling about buns and hotdogs it hit me.  She associates the word bun with bread that you wrap around a hotdog.

I almost peed my pants laughing!  Then she stopped crying and started laughing because I was laughing so hard.  She was fine once I convinced her that a bun in your hair is different than a bun for a hotdog.  She was happy to know that no one would be calling her a hotdog.

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At AB's birthday party on Sunday we did not bring our gift.  There was more that we were going to buy and we decided to bring it to her on her actual birthday which is today.  The kids knew we didn't bring a gift.  I told AB and her mom and dad that we would get her gift to her this week and they were fine with it.

Well, after AB had opened her gifts, M came up to us crying her eyes out.  She was upset because AB had not opened a gift from her.  I reminded her that we didn't bring the gift that we would give it to her at her house this week.  Then, since the party was winding down, I told her to go and get a goody bag hoping it would make her feel better.  She started crying again telling me that "you have to bring a gift in order to get a goody bag!"  We assured her that that wasn't the case and she finally calmed down. 

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We are moving M to a booster seat and she and I saw one at Target that is so her:  pink and girly.  We have been talking about it for a few days and we went today to pick one up.  She was so excited!  As we went down the aisle and pulled up next to where it was located on the shelf, she gasped, hand to chest and said, "Oh--my--God!  There it is!  I LOVE it!"  So amazed and enthralled by this car seat!  Soon afterward her hand came to her mouth as she said, "It is beautiful."  I thought she was going to cry from the beauty she saw in this car seat.  SO funny.  So cute.  I wish I had a video camera so you all could see her reaction to it.

Funny stuff.  

 

Thanks for dealing with the drama

Again, as I've said before, thanks to all of you for your support.  Even on my darkest days I know I'm loved and I could reach out to any/all of you.  I just hope you all don't get annoyed with my 2-3 times per year mini dramas.

Anyway, to answer some of your questions...

Yes, depression does run in my family.  I believe it is only a mild to medium form of depression but it is still debilitating.  

I've taken the antidepressant Effexor before.  I didn't like the way I felt on it--numb is the word that comes to mind--and when I weaned off of it it was horrible.  The side effects were terrible.  Even though I know that there are a whole slew of antidepressants out there and they each work a bit differently, I would have to be really bad off to take another.  

I've considered counseling but just never really get around to it.  I've known people who have done well with it but I just haven't taken the plunge yet.

I've tried as many alternative treatments as I can find.  I mostly find success when I can do well with my diet and get regular acupuncture treatments with herbs.  It just so happens that I haven't had an acupuncture treatment for about a month because of time constraints and it came back to bite me!  I find that at this point it is better for me to go see an intern at the school clinic.  I'm hoping within the next semester or two I can do more at home on my own.  I've needled myself some so I know I can do that part.  It is the diagnosing part that I'm not yet good at.

Also, my new blender is due any time now (actually they tried to deliver it on Friday but we had already left for the game and they won't leave it without a signature) so I'm hoping to start having green smoothies daily and get some better nutrition.

We had a pleasant evening at ZCM and CM's house this evening.  I always enjoy just hanging with our wonderful friends.  Even though I've slept so much the past few days I'm still tired this evening.  Hopefully I'll get some good rest tonight and be ready to go tomorrow.  It is back to reality!

Hope everyone had a nice Memorial Day Weekend.  Love to you all!

The day in the life of depression

I've never made it a secret that I deal with depression on a fairly regular basis.  However, I don't know that I've ever come out and described a play by play of dealing with it.  I may have tried in the past but I often reveal these stories after the situation has passed.  Not necessarily as it happens.  Usually as it happens, I tend to become super introverted.  I avoid people.  I avoid public situations just because my emotions are so unpredictable that I fear losing it in front of everyone.  Tomorrow we are supposed to go to ZCM and CM's house for a cookout.  While I look forward to seeing my friends, I dread the energy it will take to get through the evening without breaking down for no apparent reason.

Thursday I was fine.  I was in a good mood.  I was proud of myself and what I've accomplished.  I knew I was working hard to get through another semester of school.  Everything was good.  I got home and O had tripped over the dog, falling onto a plate as it shattered all over the kitchen and he cut himself.  I was there after it had all transpired so I didn't have to deal with the fear, the blood the uncertainty of the incident.  I cleaned up the shattered plate happy to know that my hubby dealt with all of the ugliness associated with it.  O was happily sleeping, his hand bandaged up and fine.  

Friday morning I had several vivid dreams (with my TCM--Traditional Chinese Medicine--training I recognize heart fire signs that need treated).  The last one before I woke was a situation where I watched M get run over by a car.  It was upsetting.  It was disturbing.  I woke up not rested at all and very agitated.  I ran upstairs to check on the kids and they were fine.  I was suddenly, without provocation or warning, in a horrible mood that would last the day.  Nothing terrible happened on Friday but, if you ask me, everything went wrong.  It was a fight just to get through the day.  I had to summon all of the energy I had just to take a shower.  That energy took me through working on a client at work.  We spent the evening at the Astro's game which was fine because there was alcohol there to help me escape.

Saturday morning I was in a better mood but felt exhausted.  I worked with all of my clients without too much effort but was again exhausted and emotional afterwards.  C got called into work and, though we didn't have any plans, I felt like my day was ruined.  Everything was sad and it was just an effort to get through the day.

Sunday morning my mood was a bit better but I was extraordinarily tired.  I signed up for the World Massage Conference last fall which was all done with presentations online.  All presentations were recorded and I have until May 31st to watch what I want to watch and take the quizzes in order to get my CEUs for my National Certification in massage.  I got through a couple hours of the conference and had to take a nap.  We had a b-day party to attend and I barely got myself up and showered in time to go.  So, the emotional part seems better over all but I am so freakin' tired it is almost alarming. 

On the emotional side though, I just let the dog out and while I was outside with him I was sobbing uncontrollably.  No real reason.  Just emotionally frustrated about life in general.  I got a good bit of it out before I got it all under control and I came back in.

I guess I want to vent and to draw a picture of the darkest days of my life but it is difficult for me to discern what is normal and what isn't.  It is such a normal thing in my life to literally have a ton of bricks dropped on me, emotions running rampant, exhaustion, muscle aches, etc. on a fairly regular basis.  I've dealt with it for so long that I don't know what it would be like to feel normal.  What do normal people do and how do they feel?

I don't write this so you feel sorry for me.  I write this so that you all realize that if I act a bit off, it has nothing to do with you nor what you've done.  I just get sensitive over stupid stuff.  I send out an email and no one responds within and hour so I get paranoid and wonder why everyone hates me.  I see M struggling to learn her letters and I think how I've failed her.  O knew many of his letters by sight by 4 years old.  M and I just fight when I try to teach her letters.  Maybe she should go to pre-school this fall.  

I flat out told C that I feel that I am failing at everything.  He replied, "I think the only thing you've failed at is failing to see everything that you do that is so amazing."  I cried.  I would have cried more but I was driving at the time and needed to hold it together.

I'm sure none of this is cohesive.  I've just spewed out little snippets of things as they come to my brain.  Which is quite amazing since my brain feels very fuzzy right now.  I watched a segment from the World Massage Conference today about Fibromyalgia.  I'm pretty sure I have it.  Of course, when I get in these moods, I tend to have everything!  Give me a set of symptoms and I've got the disease for sure!

I guess I'll just go to bed.  I appreciate you 'listening' to me vent.  I hope tomorrow is better.  I don't have time for this crap.  I wish I could explain it better.  I know that many of you deal with these demons so I shouldn't feel like a freak.  It just makes me nuts sometimes to have to deal with this on a regular basis.  I guess it could be worse so I should just stop complaining.   

Astros game. Nosebleed seats. Free tix. 2nd yard of margaritas. Great Friday family night!

Lunch with O at school. He has only 8 days left of 1st grade!

Struggling to pay attention in class. Went to O's field day at school for the morning. Missing his second to last game right now.

Just bought a lab coat for school. Grey's Anatomy has an entire line of medical uniforms. Who knew??

Greener Pastures

I've been researching and learning about juicing.  It is something I've been interested in doing for awhile but I had to sort through all of the pros and cons of doing so.  Many of the cons had to do with the cost of machines (juicers/blenders), time involved (prepping all of those wonderful veggies and fruit) and clean up.  I think I found a solution that will work although C doubts it very much because of the cost!  I really wanted to ingest more greens and I really don't like the taste of them (kale, chard, etc = bitter).  You can blend these nutrient dense greens with fruits to cover the taste but still get the benefits.  Plus I wanted to find ways to get the kids to eat better foods without all of the gagging.  

Yesterday I ordered a BlendTec Total Blender which, by many reviews and first hand info, is the best thing on the market right now.  You can throw in whole apples, core and all, you can toss in strawberries without hulling them (removing the green parts) plus you can make peanutbutter/other nut butter and, if need be, chop up an iPod, or most anything else you can think of, which is one of their marketing gimmicks!  It is a very versatile machine and I hope it lives up to its reputation.

I ordered the blender through GreenSmoothieGirl.com and she sent me her Jump Start Basic Recipes and her 12 Steps to Whole Food Eating for free since I purchased the blender through her site.  I don't think the blender will arrive until late next week or even the week after but I'm very anxious to get started!  I will certainly keep you posted on how it all goes. 

Chilly

Holy Cow! It is 64 degrees with 81% humidity. In Houston. In May. Hell CAN freeze over people.

(2/2) chilly for shorts! Glad I brought a blankie!

(1/2) Freezing at O's game. Cold front came through and dropped the temp 20 degrees! Sitting on metal seats with a damp, cool wind blowing....a bit too

Happy weekend everyone!

At lunch with O. He and I are having Chick-fil-a. M is having a pb & j from the school cafeteria. Don't ask me why one would choose pbj over CFA.

M photos

MH's mom took these photos of the girls this morning.  M only wore lipstick for pics.  More to come after recital day later in the month!

Mother's Day

I failed miserably by not getting at least a phone call off to my mom.  Sorry mom!  Hope you had an awesome day!  C at least called his mom so I figured I'm covered there!  Hope all of you wonderful moms had a wonderful day.

We started the day out by having donuts in the car as we drove C to the airport.  He was off to Florida for the shuttle launch.  We are all so excited that he gets to do that this time.  Since this mission is to the Hubble Telescope and not to the ISS (International Space Station), it frees up lots of people who would otherwise have to be ready to work.  So C will be in Florida thru Thursday evening.  

If we had planned ahead appropriately, this would have been a perfect week for a family member to come and stay with us to help out with child care.  Oh well, maybe we'll figure it out early next time!  As it is, I have my new semester starting.  Since I will be missing some classes later in the semester when we go to Rochester, I want to avoid missing classes now.  Especially so early on.  So, the kids will be at GAB until around 11 pm on Monday, Tuesday and Thursday nights.  O has a baseball game on Thursday evening so I will be dropping him off at the home of one of his teammates/friends.  They will get to play together and go to the game.  After the game, they will make sure that O has had dinner then drop him off at GAB for me to pick up later.  It all works out.  I've already sent a note to his teacher letting her know that he may be tired and/or out of sorts this week.  I think I have all of my bases covered.

Now that I've gotten off of the subject, let me meander back to the path I was on...

After dropping C off at the airport yesterday, we headed off to a new dog park at Bay Area Park.  Brody was such a good dog and had so much fun with his doggy friends!  The area that they have designated for the dog park is HUGE!  Plus they have separate areas for dogs under 20 lbs and those over 20 lbs.  It was really fun watching them all play and the kids loved it too.  After Brody tired out some (it was so hot!) we took him over and gave him a doggy shower which he enjoyed too.  Then we went over to the playground for the kids to get to play.  I think we were at the park for about 2 hours.  We were sweaty and stinky but it was fun.  

After we got Brody home, we took off again to head downtown to Discovery Green park.  I knew that the parking would be crazy so I opted to park at the zoo, take the little Hermann Park train to the stop near the MetroRail and then we took the light rail downtown.  We had to walk about 5 blocks from the train station to the park but, like I said, we were already sweaty and stinky so it didn't matter much at that point!

We had fun on both trains, enjoyed all of the people and activities that were going on at Discovery Green and were excited to be surrounded by the Toyota Center (where the Rockets were playing) as well as Minute Maid park (where the Astros play).

We ended the day at Lupe Tortilla for mexican food before we headed home for baths!  It was a full day and we had fun.  It was a "good tired" once we got home.  Everyone was in bed and asleep by 9:45 pm.    

Must get makeup for M's recital. Teacher says they need stage makeup so as not to look washed out. Hmmmmmmmmm...

At least we were eating outside so no damage done! Happy Mother's Day!

(2/2) peed her pants. Nice timing huh?

(1/2) Now at Lupe Tortilla. My strawberry margarita arrived followed shortly by M saying she hadshe had to pee. I stood up to take her to the bathroom & she

Dropped Craig off at the airport this morning. He is off to Florida for the shuttle launch.

At the dog park. Brody LOVES it! Then over to the kids playground.

Still trying to send to blog & facebook together in one text.

Right lower eye lid keeps twitching anticipating herb class tonight!

Hi from my phone

Gotfor and Elmer Fudd

KID STUFF

M has somehow decided that the correct pronunciation of the word "forgot" is "gotfor."  "Oh, mom, you gotfor my water bottle."  "I'm so silly!  I gotfor to bring my dish to the counter."  "Oh no!  I gotfor my critter in the car."  And so on.  You know how there are a handful of words that people say when they are toddlers that the whole family incorporates into their common vernacular.  Then, even when the kid grows into an adult, they still use that word--mostly out of habit.  I have a feeling C and myself are picking up on the "gotfor" word.  Please correct us if you hear us say it.  M, it seems, is unable to say it.  We've tried to correct her and she doesn't hear that she is saying it essentially backwards.

O slips into these phases every so often where he says his Rs like Elmer Fudd.  He seems to only do it when he is reading lately.  He'll say "twuck" instead of "truck" for example.  One of his recently learned words was "interesting."  He keeps saying "intewesting."  He seems to hear it when I point out the difference but it is strange to me.

Otherwise the two of them were tickled to death to have BOTH mom and dad's undivided attention for 2 entire days.  We had loads of fun together.  

TWITTER

I got a new phone with a fancy slide out keyboard so I can text more easily.  I only signed up for 300/month though so don't everyone go crazy sending me texts now!  I figured that roughly 10 per day is more than adequate.  After all, I'm too busy to sit and text like I would if I weren't going to school.  I've added the gadget to my blog page--you'll find it on the sidebar on the right.  However, it only seems to pick up what I do on the twitter page and not what I text from my phone.  My facebook account picks it up fine from my phone.  I don't know what the difference is and I've gone back to try to fix it but with no luck.  Anyone who has any suggestions, please let me know.  Maybe it is something that I have to change/allow from blogger.  I'll check it out.  Anyway, my niece, KH, can now text me to her heart's content if she is still in to that.  Let her know, won't you mom and TB?  Thanks.

EMF

I have a friend who is a Pharmacist and I worked with him in Jackson.  He was/is incredibly knowledgeable about pharmaceuticals, over-the-counter meds, supplements etc. and has expanded his knowledge into what would probably be considered a more alternative realm.  His wife studies energies and healing with crystals and they both are very knowledgeable about nutrition.  

Anyway, they own a compounding pharmacy in Michigan and also have a blog:  Health Warrior that they both contribute to.  Now I've been meaning to give him crap about the blog because his spelling and grammar could use some help but the information is good :)   Recently they were discussing EMF (electromagnetic field) and how it can contribute to health problems.  They have a YouTube link from their blog where Rob explains some different products they use to help rid their environment of EMF.  I know it is a controversial subject but if you are interested in it you should check it out.  There are numerous products on the market that are supposed to help but not all of them are credible.

My summer semester at school begins today.  However, the Wednesday class that I signed up for was canceled because most of the students who would have signed up for it signed up forthe  Physiology class offered at the same time.  I have not heard yet that any of my other classes have been canceled.  So, I'll be going to class on Monday, Tuesday and Thursday evenings.

Ok, Mr. O is home and we are going to watch The Biggest Loser from last night.  Have a great week everyone! 

 

  

Train Weekend-the finale

You'll have to scroll down about 7 posts to begin this story!

I was re-reading my last post and wanted to clarify:  The actual time on the turntable was quick but the time from uncoupling to recoupling took a good 20-30 mins.

Here is the engine recoupling to the cars

O watching the tracks behind us
M watching out the window
O LOVES trains and enjoyed this ride
Happy kids as we neared the end of our ride.

Train Weekend-Train on turntable

The train uses its own steam power to turn the table.  They uncoupled the engine from the cars, pulled forward past the switch, switched the tracks then backed onto the table.  It took less than 3 minutes I'd guess to turn the entire thing around!  Then the engine went forward past the switch, they switched tracks again then the train backed back up to the cars where they recoupled and pulled us back to the Rusk Depot.  Here is a series of pics of the train turning on the turntable.

Ready to turn

Beginning the turn


Turn complete

Train Weekend-Train

The main reason for our trip was to take a ride on the Texas State Rail Road.  There were roughly 50-55 people, including us and the staff, on the entire train that included 4 passenger cars and a dining car.  The ride was awesome and included the amazing show of watching the engine turn around on a turn table.  This and the next two posts will have photos of the train ride/experience.

The view to the engine from where we originally sat.  

The train
C & I ready to ride.  M took this pic.
C and the kids ready to ride
Getting a cab tour before the ride.  It was HOT standing right there next to the fire (behind the round silver door)

Train Weekend-more stuff to do at the cabin

M feeds the turkeys

Smores!

Silly family

Train Weekend-stuff to do at the cabin

They have a great fire pit and provide the wood.  You can see the benches and a picnic table.  They even had heavy duty two-pronged metal whatchamacallit sticks  in the cabin to use to roast marshmallows/hot dogs/etc.

Emu
Feeding the deer
Family portrait on the porch
And again.

Train Weekend-cabin

There are two cabins onsite.  We stayed in the slightly smaller cabin meant to sleep 4.  It had 1 set of bunks and a queen bed.  The other cabin has 2 sets of bunks and a queen futon to sleep 6.  It would be so much fun to get some friends/family to go together for a long weekend!  (Hint, hint!!)

We LOVED the rustic feel and had everything we needed.  There was a sink, stove/oven, microwave, coffee maker, small fridge as well as all of the plates/utensils/pans/etc that one would need to make a normal meal.  Here are photos we took before we left but you can see a few more on their web site.  

Kitchen sink area

Microwave, stove etc on the other side as well as the dining table
The kids loved sleeping in the bunks.  After they climbed them for a couple of hours while we were getting dinner ready!  Such a novelty for them!
There was a tv with a dvd/vcr combo as well as a few family friendly movies.  The book shelf was also full of paperback books.  They suggested that if you took a book you leave on in its place.  There was a deck of cards too.  Lots of fun, no technology needed, stuff to do for a weekend.
Queen bed with bathroom beyond.  The bathroom had a toilet, sink and a shower.
We loved it!

Train Weekend-Animals

Since the photos are in high resolution, blogger will only let me upload 5 at a time.  I could change the resolution but I'm just too lazy.  So, I will break up the post to upload all of the photos I thought you'd all like to see.

We headed up north to the Rusk, TX area this past weekend for a quick family getaway.  We stayed at a cabin located on the property of Cherokee Trace Drive Thru Safari.  The area was just beautiful.  As a guest of the property, we had full access to the safari even during the hours that it was closed to the public.  The only request that they have is that you stay out of the fenced area after dark so neither the guest nor the animals get injured.  We arrived too late on Saturday evening to drive through so we planned on driving around on Sunday morning.  However, an incredible thunderstorm came through overnight with lots of rain and high winds not to mention lightening and loud thunder!  The kids slept through it.  C slept more than I did.  I was up about every hour or so.  I enjoyed the storm but I was beat!

Sunday morning we were unable to drive through the safari because some of the roads were flooded!  However, quite a number of animals came to the fence so we were able to see them and feed them.  There was a tree limb down nearby and the camel devoured the leaves.  She wasn't interested in the pellets we had!  We didn't get to see her up close but she was cool to see anyway.

You can see the camel pretty clearly here along with a few deer.  To the camel's left by the blue barrels is an emu!
Emu now on camel's right.

April Birthdays

We celebrated April birthdays over a week ago but I'm just getting around to posting it.  M still has some face paint from a b-day party on her face if you are wondering!  We actually celebrated on the 26th which is my sis' (TV) b-day so I was looking for the numbers to make 39 in her honor.  I found a 3 and decided we could use that in the tens column then we had a 4 and a 5 in the ones column!  Then I realized I put them backwards so that the 3 was in the ones column and the 4 and 5 were in the tens column.  Oh, well.  They still lit and blew out nicely just like candles should!  

Happy Birthday to our April loved ones

Blood Relatives:

Traci V--my sis

Cousin Dana F

Cousin Susan P

Cousin Bobbie M

Cousin Dahlia M

New Babies:

Nicholas B--neighbor/friend

Jaliina H--good friend

Serafina R--good friend

Friends:

Pam S

DeAnna D

Conner R

Brandon W

Jack S

Juniper J