Bigger Than Me

I feel like my current education is bigger than me.  I mean, while I find it wildly interesting, I feel like it is pulling me along.  Like this is my destiny and I'd better just suck it up and do it.  Maybe because I am beginning year 2 of what will be at LEAST a 4 1/2 year adventure.  I've come too far to quit but I can't yet see the light at the end of the tunnel.  And when the thought crosses my mind that I need to take it easy and spread my classes out more, take more time to finish my degree, I think of the class that just started this semester.  There are almost 30 of them.  That is at least twice as many as when my class started a year ago.  The word is out.  I can't let them get ahead of me, right?

I told my friends once that I would pay the whole tuition just to have the knowledge for myself.  That I wanted to be able to help my family and friends and if I made a few bucks along the way then all the better.  Now I feel threatened that these people, who began their education a year after me, will hit the job market before I do.  That's not ok at all.  So, it doesn't matter if I'm ready or not.  It doesn't matter what sacrifices both my family and I will have to make.  I can't let them beat me to the finish line.  And that is how it is all getting to be bigger than me.