Research

I have a couple of friends who always joke (maybe more serious than joking actually!) that they are going to send their kids to my house when it is time for the SEX talk.  While most parents are quite uncomfortable with such subjects (me included), I feel like sexuality is so prevalent in our culture yet no one wants to talk about it.  We joke about it, we laugh, we giggle....all the while our kids are watching us.  They are learning how to respond to such topics and I want to try to let my kids know it is ok to talk about.

As a result, I try to look for ways to make sure my kids get the correct info and, at the very least, give them a place to go to look for answers if they don't feel comfortable talking to me.  Here are a couple of items I've come up with recently.  Maybe you will find it helpful.  At least, if you send your kids my way, you'll know where I'm getting my information!!

A great book was suggested to me roughly 10 years ago called:  Taking Charge of Your Fertility.  It explained in wonderful detail about how the female body works, what to look for if you are trying to get pregnant and what to avoid if you are trying to NOT get pregnant.  Plus, it showed how to track it all so you know where you are in your cycle at any given time.  Since it was a bit old for a teenager, I was so happy when the same author wrote a book targeted towards teens called Cycle Savvy.  I just ordered a copy for M and also for my niece, KH.  While I have not read the book myself, I was so impressed with the author's first book that I have confidence this will be perfect for teens.  

When I found this book and read some of the reviews on Amazon, I saw one mom mention that she gave the book to her son as well as her daughter.  I had been wondering myself how far I should go to educate my son about the female body.  I vividly remember being in the 6th grade.  Several of us gals had already started our periods.  One of the boys had gone through one of our purses (not mine) and found a panty liner.  They tossed it around the room, laughed and so on.  One of the boys actually said, "If I was a girl I would wait until I was older to use Kotex!"  She was humiliated.  Of course, at the time, I remember wanting to explain to him that we don't CHOOSE how old we are when we have to start using such products.  Remembering his ignorance and reading that mom's review has encouraged me to share the book with my son.  He will, after all, be sharing a bathroom with his sister as they grow up.  He also has girls in his class that he is friends with.  I've never hidden my period from him.  He needs to learn early what is going on and how to be respectful about it.

While reading the reviews for the book, I came across another book that seems to be popular called S.E.X.  It looks to be an honest, straight forward book that is associated with a great web site:  scarleteen.com.  I'm sure I could learn a few things from reading it myself!!  The thing about this web site is that it is in your face, straight up, talk about EVERYTHING from masturbation to anal sex to birth control to sexual orientation and so on, which can be quite uncomfortable on one hand.  On the other hand, knowing that people so young have such big questions just reinforces my dedication to making sure my kids have the information--and that means ANY information--that they are looking for.  My theory is, if I can look them in the eye and calmly discuss anything that has to do with sex/sexuality then they are more likely to listen when I throw in the all important emotional impact that goes along with it.  I'm keeping my fingers crossed!

Thanks to my parents who did the best they could with three girls!

Anyway, check those links out.  I hope you find them helpful too.